It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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