He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
