do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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