Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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