i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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