Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize