The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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