I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I think your dad took our porno
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
