Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
