1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It's never too late to be topless.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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