Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
She's the barista slut.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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