Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize