I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
