i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
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