So drunk, too bad you don't want this
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
