Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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