normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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