I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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