Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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