i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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