On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
You're completely useless in the revolution.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
