ugly people sure do ruin things
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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