Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
