What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Randomize