i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
