I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
