I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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