I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
