So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Did I show you my penis last night?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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