he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
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