Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
