hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
