the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Randomize