She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
