FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
