we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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