this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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