oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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