Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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