Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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