Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I need water and some morals
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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