**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
