dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
