Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
