Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
