Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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