the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
