I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
