I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
