About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
