You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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