You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
