I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
