maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
