He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
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And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
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The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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