I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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