We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Randomize